. . . Separated By a Common Language . . .

As I unguardedly searched on a popular classifieds site (yes, that one) for a plumber to help with a remodeling project, I was accosted by numerous typos and grammatical errors. As an editor/proofreader, I felt unable to leave some of the most egregious examples without further exploration . . .

It’s bad enough to hear people destroy the English language: in the media, or as characters on television, et al. But to see people and organizations advertising their services, and fecklessly and haphazardly tossing content onto a classifieds site — apparently without mind to its impact — was very troubling.

For instance, I saw an ad professing the person’s expertise in dealing with wiring ‘satellite dish’s and antenna’s.’ I dropped a line to the person stating that he/she might want to make the dishes and antennae non-possessive, for the sake of the person’s professional presentation. I don’t know if this person was OTT on anthropomorphizing things (which I will plead guilty of myself, being one to imbue objects with personality where none should exist), or if he/she was simply oblivious to what was being displayed as the public impression of ‘professionalism’ for the individual. Regardless of the root of the errors, I noted those I saw in an e-mail, and sent it off to the party in question.

After doing that, I quickly came upon an ad that seemed to have no sense of punctuation or spacing (e.g., ‘doors,hardware,install,yardwork,concretejobs,glass for wood window,’ etc.) I quickly drafted a missive to this person, suggesting replacing the commas with semi-colons, and adding spacing after the punctuation.

Next came the nanny who advertised herself with this eye-catching link: ‘Im the nanny you want!!!!' Well, I wasn’t really in the market for this woman’s services, but I felt she needed a nudge in order to be taken seriously as a person who wanted to take on the responsibility of childcare. I cited the numerous errors in her ad in an e-mail to her, noting that she might consider making the corrections to increase her visibility as a professional person, and a positive influence on the children she would shepherd, and with whom she would interact.

After that, I passed on responding regarding a number of other problems I saw, until I actually came upon the ad for a plumber plying his trade thus: 'Plumbing, Sewer's & Drain's.' Again faced with rampant anthropomorphizing, I was compelled to contact the person with an e-mail containing corrections for the ad’s subject line, as well as for its content. I cautiously proceeded to the advertiser’s website, and found a dearth of respect for punctuation. With my desire for correction flagging, I decided to avert my attention from this person’s site, and to plumb for more plumbers, instead . . .

This detour led me, lastly, to a plumber who fashioned himself as an ‘Artian’ . . . Thinking he actually thought himself to be an ‘artisan,’ I was driven to contact him regarding the misapplication of language (punctuation, spelling, etc.) in his ad. This last message to help sort out linguistic faux pas was all I wanted to take on in an afternoon’s browsing, despite the innumerable corrections I could have informed advertisers about . . .

Thinking upon what I saw in merely looking for a plumber, I felt downcast regarding the state of general knowledge of language and its use, as seen in the multitudinous errors in nearly every ad on the classifieds site. I felt like a lonely sentinel, trying to make right numerous wrongs in the use of our poor, old, bedraggled English language. I admitted defeat in trying to virtually correct grammatical errors, as well as to try to impart understanding regarding the underlying logic to the corrections I made. I decided that my pedantry would be better served on trickles of correction — rather than floods — and moved onto projects where my knowledge would be of better use.

But I know other problems are extant, and growing in profusion . . . I reminded myself that there isn’t enough time, or typing power, to tackle even a fraction of what exists in the constantly changing world of the Internet . . . Move along, now, and don’t stare . . .